At least they’ve got a sense of humour

It was a grim weekend for Port Adelaide Football Club supporters as the Alberton crowd exited the AFL finals “in straight sets”, as the cliche goes.

Talk station FIVEaa, known for its calm and measured approach to tribal football matters, put to air a call from “Stu from Hahndorf” after Port’s loss to GWS in which the self-proclaimed Power supporter went into an epic meltdown about his alleged club’s performance.

“I am physically ill!”, Stu screamed.

FIVEaa made hay – with a Twitter clip of the call racking up more than 60,000 views by Monday.

A few days later though, and another footy talk station – SEN – revealed that not all was as it seems with Stu’s florid performance.

Presenter Jarrod Walsh “tracked down” Stu from Handorf who admitted he was a Crows supporter taking the piss.

A Crows supporter pretending to be a Port Adelaide supporter on talkback radio issued a whithering spray to the team after Saturday night’s semi-final loss to GWS. However, @jarrodwalsh exposed the truth this morning on SEN SA Breakfast. pic.twitter.com/SksIFreaNV

— SEN SA 1629 (@1629senSA) September 19, 2023

Funny business all round…

Meanwhile, truly furious Port Adelaide supporters over on the BigFooty fan site have spiced up their anger – mostly directed at coach Ken Hinkley – with some pointed historical references.

One of the more bizarre episodes in Port’s finals debacle was midfielder Ollie Wines’ revelation that the team was taking inspiration from the “team work” apparent in the movie Oppenheimer – the grim epic about the eponymous “father” of the atom bomb.

It’s not exactly Chariots of Fire is it?

J. Robert Oppenheimer, on witnessing a test of his fearsome weapon, was struck by some lines from Hindu sacred writing: “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”

One of the many “Sack Hinkley” threads on Port’s BigFooty club forum is now titled: “I Am Become Donuts, Destroyer of Ports”.

SANFL called in the firies

With both AFL teams out of the finals, all eyes turn to the SANFL Grand Final at Adelaide Oval on Sunday afternoon.

With the weather looking positively balmy at 28C, there won’t be the need for a wet weather plan at the Adelaide Oval… like there was in 1923.

Back then, the League had to call in the Fire Brigade before a semi-final. After more than 100 millimetres of rain in just three days, the Oval was a lake.
The firefighters brought in an old steam pump and after a few hours, got most of the water away from the ground.

Folklore has it there’s even a photo of a groundsman paddling around in a kayak.

Photo: State Library of South Australia, 22 September 1923.

Coming to terms with scrutiny

South Australia’s Auditor-General Andrew Richardson – a quiet achiever who has performed a sterling job holding governments and departments to account – celebrates his 65th birthday in October.

Under current legislation, this means he must leave the role he’s held since June 2015.

If the State Government has its way, Richardson will be the last Auditor-General – or Ombudsman – who will be given the boot at 65, with Attorney-General Kyam Maher quietly introducing legislation to change the rules for both positions.

South Australia is out of step with other jurisdictions on these key positions, with other states appointing them for set terms with no age restrictions.

The changes were prompted by the impending resignation of Ombudsman Wayne Lines, who pointed out to the government that a person over the age of 65 could not be considered for the position – but a person appointed at the age of 40 could potentially be in the job for 25 years.

The government accepted his recommendation of fixed terms of seven years, with the option to extend for three – in line with other jurisdictions.

The rules are the same for the Auditor-General’s position – no fixed terms and compulsory retirement at 65 – so the government is planning a similar change for that role.

It is keen to have consistent terms for the ICAC Commissioner, Director of Office for Public Integrity and the Judicial Conduct Commissioner.

Typical of his fiercely independent approach, Richardson disagrees – he believes a 10-year fixed term is appropriate.

His office told InSider: “Your understanding from the Government that the Auditor-General has expressed a view about a fixed term is correct. He has communicated with the Parliament about that since the Bill was tabled last week.”

We’ll see soon if parliament takes his side. The Bill is due to be debated next week.

Meanwhile, the government is in the process of recruiting a new Auditor-General.

Monkey business

[solstice_jwplayer mediaid=”IWKma2cX” /]

Earlier this week, the Australian Girls Choir visited Monarto Safari Park to perform for the chimpanzee troop as the first stop of their national tour.

More than 50 young performers from across Australia sang I Still Call Australia Home and Thulele Mama Ya to the park’s 12 chimps.

Keeper Sarah Washford said the chimpanzees “certainly responded to the spectacle” and that it was a “great opportunity for the chimps to experience something different”. 

Nothing quite like a nice cup of tea

Lord Mayor Jane Lomax-Smith has an ambitious vision for how Adelaide should grow – but it’s also as simple as a cup of tea.

While walking InSider through council’s City Plan studio last week, she expressed her interest in cultivating the CBD’s “liveability”. What does that mean?

“Liveability is basically whether you can get to the shops to buy a bottle of milk, which is the core interest in my life,” Lomax-Smith said.

“I would never live anywhere where you can’t get to somewhere that serves milk, because if you can’t buy a bottle of milk, you’re in deep trouble I reckon.

“It’s the end of civilization because I hate tea without it.”

Perhaps more pressing than the taste of the Lord Mayor’s tea is how the city will cope with climate change. On that issue, Lomax-Smith offers a blunt assessment.

“[It’s] too late to stop climate change – we’re buggered – but we have to make sure the city is habitable, because it’s very likely to be uninhabitable if we get many days at 45 (degrees),” she said.

“And days at 50 (degrees) – we really are buggered.”

According to the council’s high-tech City Plan maps, the Lord Mayor’s West End house is located in one of the CBD areas most susceptible to a 1.5°C temperature increase.

Asked about it, she replied: “It’s in big trouble.”

A vision for Adelaide

As the City Plan begins to take shape at town hall, InSider simply wants to drop this X.

If you think your city will never change,
watch this before/after video of Paris
by @Jamesdestaffordpic.twitter.com/YlU3j8c9pa

— XXI Century City (@urbanthoughts11) August 22, 2023

Lock the doors

A “Home of the Future” survey commissioned by the NBN, asked South Australians what technology they planned to use in their homes 10 years from now. A telling result is that almost half of respondents wanted security systems. The three top responses were:

• Security technologies that can help keep households physically safe (46 per cent) 
• Technologies that can help reduce the home’s impact on the environment (37 per cent)
• And, health and wellbeing technologies that enable more care and support to be delivered from home (37 per cent) 

Seems flying cars and robotic housekeepers will have to wait.

Stuff you should know…

In the constant search for meaningful, informative, life-changing news to feed you, the dear reader, InSider thanks the cool cats at Splice Media for pointing the way to “emoji kitchen”.

Google: “emoji kitchen”
Combine your fav emojis
You’re welcome ☺️ pic.twitter.com/WvLTuwOLrY

— Kris Kashtanova (@icreatelife) September 17, 2023