SA’s increasing productivity in shameless spinning

As the parliamentary inquiry into South Australia’s mega-university merger was due to begin this week, the State Government received an apparent boost to its case from the South Australian Productivity Commission.

However, as is always the case with the spin around this merger, everything is not as it appears.

The commission’s report has been in the Premier’s hands since May, but was only released this week.

Interesting timing.

Interesting, too, was the fact that The Advertiser – an unambiguous supporter of the merger – and Premier Peter Malinauskas both seized upon the report as a clear rubber stamp for the joining up of the University of Adelaide and UniSA.

When the actual report – Turning Research into Economic Competitiveness for South Australia – lobbed, the reality was not so straightforward.

The report explicitly doesn’t consider the merits of the merger.

In their own words: “The potential implications of a university merger were not included in the Commission’s terms of reference for this inquiry and so the Commission is unable to form a view on the relative merits of a merger.”

The absence of a ‘formed view’ and, presumably, the gathering of evidence, didn’t stop them offering an assessment of the vibe of the thing.

Much like the Government, which hasn’t seen the business case for the merger and, it was revealed this week, hasn’t conducted a risk assessment, the Productivity Commission reckons the nearly half a billion investment could – potentially, if done well, depending on a few caveats – end up producing a great result.

“However, we would note that a merger, if designed and implemented competently with a clear focus on changing the way in which the new university engages with the SA economy and society, could create a catalyst for the needed broader cultural change in the merged institution making our suggested reforms more likely to succeed,” the report finds.

“The merger could also potentially create cost savings, for example, through removing duplications of assets enabling more efficient use of facilities. If any such savings were used to fund applied, industry focused, research in the spirit of our reforms then the potential for the universities to drive improvement in the state’s economy would be further enhanced.”

Understandably, given the inquiry explicitly didn’t consider a merger, there’s little evidence presented to support this assessment, but it does slap the Government on the back for the “sound economic policy” of pursuing the idea.

Et tu, Kouts?

Still on the topic of the uni merger, it appears that even some of Malinauskas’ most trusted are shaky on the party line.

At a CEDA event where he was promoting the government’s infrastructure plans, Labor firebrand Tom Koutsantonis had a little dig at the amalgamation.

“The last aspect here is what the Premier’s doing with the amalgamation of the unis, which is very, very controversial,” he said.

“No one on any street corner is saying ‘Hey! Good idea! We’re having an amalgamation!’”

He did then go on to laud the merger as the ‘”largest university amalgamation in the world” and highlighted its potential to attract international students to Adelaide. But when even your cabinet members are having a bit of fun about the move, perhaps it’s time for some reflection.

Points for trying

The InSider likes to recognise hardworking South Australian businessmen and women; and in that spirit, one unnamed businessperson deserves a shoutout this week for their valiant marketing efforts

The person – whose identity and business are unknown – asked to make a deputation at Adelaide City Council’s Tuesday meeting so they could sell their product, according to Lord Mayor Jane Lomax-Smith.

Lomax-Smith informed councillors about the request on Tuesday upon returning to the council chamber after five minutes of Christian prayer chaos.

“We had one request for a deputation, and I deferred the matter on the basis that the person wishing to speak to us was promoting one product for sale to the council,” the Lord Mayor said.

“I made the explanation that I didn’t think it was appropriate that a product for sale should be presented to full council, because it may impact on their capacity to make a tender application if we had already looked at the matter.

“We might be perceived to have a conflict of interest – so I refused that deputation request.”

If you are this mystery person, the InSider would like to know who you are and what you sell. In the meantime, full points for trying.

The worst of trolls

It doesn’t take long for things to unravel online, so it pains InSider that what was going to be a good news story – that online game Fortnite was to have a virtual Holocaust Museum – turned nasty overnight when white-supremacist commentator Nick Fuentes started trolling the initiative.

According to the website Artnet, video game designer Luc Bernard, who created the museum, has been forced to delay the opening of the area on the game because of the trolls (we refuse to repeat what they are saying).

“I’m about making Holocaust education available to everyone, worldwide, free of cost,” Bernard told Artnet News, noting that Fortnite is currently the most popular metaverse, with more than 400 million users.

“Some 80 percent of Americans have not visited the Holocaust Museum [in Washington, D.C.]. That’s not their fault; museums aren’t accessible for most of the population since they’re in big cities. I think museums are great, but we need to think about people who we are not reaching.”

The Jewish Chronicle. reported that the “Voices of the Forgotten Museum” would contain plaques describing atrocities committed by the Nazis during the Holocaust. It also contains photographs of Jewish resistance fighters and people who helped hide Jewish people escape from the Nazis.

Luc Bernard took to the platform that was spreading the hate and tweeted (or is it X’d now?) about the experience.

Time for bed again.

But happy to see international media is making sure people know the hate didn’t come from gamers but American Nazis. https://t.co/otl9Tdpy0f

— Luc Bernard (@LucBernard) August 10, 2023

Will you be Ma-gill?

The duo behind Adelaide greeting card company Unseasoned Greetings, Jacqui and Joe, have taken to subReddit r/Adelaide for some pun-spiration. While many of the responses probably can’t be published (think Dry Creek and River Torrens references), they are hilarious. One of the tamer ones is “I Unley have eyes for you” and the pair say they have already made a Father’s Day card with an “Even though you’re a Payneham the arse…” compilation. For Christmas, they’ve got “Seaton’s Greetings” of course. InSider is ordering the one below from the online shop.

Stuff you should know…

Researchers at the University of South Australia are showing how superhero-like avatars can help people manage chronic and persistent pain.

The new ‘Superhero Therapy’ engages patients in VR, where they ‘swap’ their body with that of a superhero to convince the brain and nervous system that the body is invincible, healed and no longer in pain.

Lead researcher and 2023 SA Young Tall Poppy of Science, Dr Daniel Harvie, says mixing brain science with virtual reality could help solve persistent pain.

“Pain is usually triggered by an injury, but in some people, it hangs around even after the body is healed,” Harvie said.

“Now, instead of just treating the site of pain in your body, we know that we may also need to re-train the nervous system.

“Using VR ‘Superhero Therapy’, people debilitated by pain can ‘swap’ their real body for a superhero’s, such as ‘the Incredible Hulk’. In doing so, a person with chronic pain, who feels weak and vulnerable, can literally see and experience themselves as a super strong, muscular character.”

While the research is ongoing, initial results show that when people enter a world of digital reality, their mind is immediately taken off their symptoms and their pain tends to drop. And just like practicing any skill, the more you do it, the better you become.

“Virtual reality is an amazing, brain targeting, perception-altering tool that can be used to train the nervous system and address some of the challenges for people with chronic pain,” Harvie said.

“I really think it won’t be too long before we see VR in physio and occupational therapy clinics as a core part of every management of people with pain.”