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Robin Williams’ wisecracks and wisdom

Aug 13, 2014
Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam

Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam

Actor Robin Williams was hailed as a comic genius who delighted in making others laugh – this is a selection of quotes from throughout his life and career:

“Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.”

“And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, ’cause you can’t drink anymore. You can’t come home drunk and go, `Hey, here’s a little switch: Daddy’s gonna throw up on you!’.”

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

“Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.”

“Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.”

“Comedy is acting out optimism.”

“[To troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself `If you’re not funny, it’s a problem’.”

“Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying `I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.’ The other is `You want fries with that?’.”

“They’re talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision – you either go all the way or forget it.”

“Okra is the closest thing to nylon I’ve ever eaten. It’s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.”

“[While accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting (1997)] Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, `Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’”

“Australians are basically English rednecks. If Darwin had landed in Australia, he would have gone: `I’m wrong’.”

“There’s so much to talk about. The fact that Donald Trump wants to see Obama’s birth certificate. I want to see his hairline first.”

“Men can’t fake an orgasm, who wants to look that dumb, you know what I’m saying?”

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